I swear I was trying to simplify my life but three days into my new flip phone I feel…frenetic.

This wasn’t supposed to be an experiment.

Getting a flip phone was a conscious choice, one I’ve been thinking about for months.

My idea was to stop checking email all of the time and rediscover what it feels like to sit with my mind.

Without distractions.

Maybe get to back enjoying things like...I don’t know...thinking.

Or reading.

Or cooking.

Just kidding. Not cooking.

But here I am, day three, and I’m already losing it.

My flip phone has been anything but simplifying.

Why?

Let me take you back about 20 years and remind you of how long it used to take to do something as simple as send a text.

It’s not that it’s hard.

It’s just that I’ve gotten used to everything being so easy.

Like not having to type the number “3” three times to type one measly letter F.

And it’s not even to say F-U to my new phone but to try calling my Friend, any Friend (since I still can’t figure out how to put in a single contact).

But I’m determined to stick with it.

You see, while all this technology brings so much ease, I've been too aware of the constant distractions.

And my dependence.

Here’s what I mean:

- I didn’t have anyone’s phone number in my head so my attempt to call instead of text my friends was fruitless.

- I had no idea where I was going in New Jersey to see my parents (even though I grew up there, people). That’s how much I rely on Waze.

- I felt like I was denying myself life memories since I’m known to take 100 photos a day.

- I had to ask my daughter to wait until I got home to send her money, much to her dismay.

- I had to ask a real human on the NYC sidewalk where Container Store was since I was lost without Google Maps.

- And let’s not forget the most important aspect of my iPhone that hit me last night at about 11:50am: my total addiction to playing Wordle.

The good news? My iPhone still works on wifi (so, my fellow Wordle fans, I did not break my streak).

Other good news? I walked across the city to pick up my son after school on Friday completely phone free.

I noticed people, even my thoughts, and most importantly his conversation about English class and new snacks in the cafeteria.

I felt zero worry about all the work I was missing.

When I showed Jack my new phone, his face was as if I was showed him my old, yellow Sony cassette-playing walkman.

"Why?" is all he asked (that's him making fun of how cool I am with my new flip).

As I kissed his summery blond head I thought about that.

Why??

My intention was good.

To simplify.

Go inside. Slow down. Think more. Stay present with who I’m with, especially myself.

I can always reconnect with all those apps on wifi.

And I can switch my SIM card as soon as tomorrow.

But I’m determined to stick this out for a bit.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

If you're curious, you can email me...just don’t text me!

With fierce love,
Alison